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Showing posts with label Gay Life Decoded. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gay Life Decoded. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Freaks
This is the situation, I'm a straight female however, for a little over 3 years i have been curious about being with other women and i have always been into girl on girl porn and whenever i watch girl on girl porn i tend to get really excited if you know what i mean. in a way that i dont get when just watching a girl and a guy go at it. also i would have actual dreams of which i would be with a woman doing sexual things. also i like to watch a woman's ass when she walks but a lot of time i try not to do cuz i feel like other people notice im watching .
So anyway fast forward i meet this female who is about 7 years older than me from offline who is bisexual and married.
we quickly befriended each other. long story short she was my first girl on girl experience. i lied to her at first about being with women before, i had told her that i had been with at least 3 women before which wasn't true. Anyway this female ended up spending the night at my house and we slept in the same bed and i dont know what it was but something inside of me told me to take the plunge and to just touch her as my curiousity was like a pang in my side.
so anyway i took the initiative and started to touch her but then she flipped it on me and took control. i couldnt believe what i was getting into. That night i couldnt believe myself and i found myself at war with my soul. everything felt so good and my body felt like literally i could melt right there on that bed. but after all was said an done i felt huge guilt and dirtyness after doing what i did almost as if i was disgusted with myself. thinking to myself like how could i allow a another woman to do what she did and that god must really hate me now.
fast forward again we did it again on 5 other different occasions with each time being better than the last.
i noticed after awhile i started to actually have feelings for her on a deeper level however i dared not to let her know that. i would feel butterflys and basically the same feelings i use to get with men are the same feelings i had for her which scared me but also had me confused.
now my things with men is that i havent been with a guy since 09 which is my daughter's father and yes i do get a lot of men trying to talk to me but i just dont be interested and what mainly turn me off from talking to any guys rights now is that usually that 9 times outta ten no matter how classy i carry myself they seem to have no respect and just only out to use u for sex and just the idea alone just makes me not even think about them like that i just focus on work and school.
back to the situation with this female , its like now ithat i've experienced being with her on those occasions it's like all the time i feel like my body crave a woman's touch like 24/7 its on my mind. and its like i seriously enjoy touching her squeezing her,tasting her. but now i think i am giving her the impression that i want to be more than friends with her ( which would be nice) and now i feel like she is trying to play me. like if u watch my video where im talking about liars im really talking about her in da video.
even when we outside i just feel like a dog in heat and be so ready to just hump her ass or whatever but because we outside i try to contain myself. she gave me my first multiple orgasm back to back i didnt even know what my body was going through when it first happened and NevER in my life have i ever experienced that with a man.
but the problem that i have is that ,i always feel like this and i still find myself trying to hang on to this female even though she likes to lie a lot but i try to hang on because of fear that i may not experience this ever again because nobody knows anything about this but me and her. it just right now at this time my mind is scared that i may be gay and its like i would prefer to have be intimate with a woman than a man anyday.
i never felt anything so passionate and sensual and being with her just feels like my body was being neglected until i met her. i dont know of any better way to explain it.
like what do i do and how do i accept these feelings that i have and how do i meet other females like me without making things look obvious to others?
if ur still there reading then i really do thank u for taking the time and energy to read my really long email
i really do appreciate it.
So anyway fast forward i meet this female who is about 7 years older than me from offline who is bisexual and married.
we quickly befriended each other. long story short she was my first girl on girl experience. i lied to her at first about being with women before, i had told her that i had been with at least 3 women before which wasn't true. Anyway this female ended up spending the night at my house and we slept in the same bed and i dont know what it was but something inside of me told me to take the plunge and to just touch her as my curiousity was like a pang in my side.
so anyway i took the initiative and started to touch her but then she flipped it on me and took control. i couldnt believe what i was getting into. That night i couldnt believe myself and i found myself at war with my soul. everything felt so good and my body felt like literally i could melt right there on that bed. but after all was said an done i felt huge guilt and dirtyness after doing what i did almost as if i was disgusted with myself. thinking to myself like how could i allow a another woman to do what she did and that god must really hate me now.
fast forward again we did it again on 5 other different occasions with each time being better than the last.
i noticed after awhile i started to actually have feelings for her on a deeper level however i dared not to let her know that. i would feel butterflys and basically the same feelings i use to get with men are the same feelings i had for her which scared me but also had me confused.
now my things with men is that i havent been with a guy since 09 which is my daughter's father and yes i do get a lot of men trying to talk to me but i just dont be interested and what mainly turn me off from talking to any guys rights now is that usually that 9 times outta ten no matter how classy i carry myself they seem to have no respect and just only out to use u for sex and just the idea alone just makes me not even think about them like that i just focus on work and school.
back to the situation with this female , its like now ithat i've experienced being with her on those occasions it's like all the time i feel like my body crave a woman's touch like 24/7 its on my mind. and its like i seriously enjoy touching her squeezing her,tasting her. but now i think i am giving her the impression that i want to be more than friends with her ( which would be nice) and now i feel like she is trying to play me. like if u watch my video where im talking about liars im really talking about her in da video.
even when we outside i just feel like a dog in heat and be so ready to just hump her ass or whatever but because we outside i try to contain myself. she gave me my first multiple orgasm back to back i didnt even know what my body was going through when it first happened and NevER in my life have i ever experienced that with a man.
but the problem that i have is that ,i always feel like this and i still find myself trying to hang on to this female even though she likes to lie a lot but i try to hang on because of fear that i may not experience this ever again because nobody knows anything about this but me and her. it just right now at this time my mind is scared that i may be gay and its like i would prefer to have be intimate with a woman than a man anyday.
i never felt anything so passionate and sensual and being with her just feels like my body was being neglected until i met her. i dont know of any better way to explain it.
like what do i do and how do i accept these feelings that i have and how do i meet other females like me without making things look obvious to others?
if ur still there reading then i really do thank u for taking the time and energy to read my really long email
i really do appreciate it.
XOXO Honey Bii
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
I Am Cheating With A Woman
Hello. Just would like to say that I really enjoy reading your blogs. There was one that caught my eye which was 'I'm married but in love with a woman'...or something to that affect. It caught my eye because I'm in a similar situation. Sort of. I'm a 36 year old black woman who has been married to a man. We've been together for almost 20yrs . We have kids together. I never imagined being with a woman. Never even thought about it. Until I saw her. She was at a party of a mutual friend and we sorta just clicked. No numbers was exchanged, only friend request through FB...anyway, we got to know one another. We talked and talked. She's what I would call an aggressive femme. To make a long story short, I've been seeing her for almost a year. She knows I'm married and she's single. She never asked me to leave my husband. She said that's something she would never do. I know that I love her. And it's a different type of love of what I have for my husband. Very different. I know what I'm doing is sooo wrong on so many levels but I don't want her out of my life and she feels the same about me. I don't know if I'm telling you my story for advice purposes or just to vent. I just like your blogs. Have a good one.
XOXO Honey Bii
XOXO Honey Bii
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Bisexual
Dear Honey Bii,
I am a woman that is attracted to women, but I don't know how to meet them. I identify as bi-sexual because I still do find men attractive. I've tried being on downelink but because I identify as bi-sexual the lesbian community seems to look down on that. I am the type person that only dates one person at a time regardless. (I've never actually been with a woman intimately). Not only that, I don't sleep around period. It has been almost a year since I've been intimate and that is because I'm not in a relationship nor have I gotten close enough with anyone that I would consider it serious enough to sleep with. Why does the lesbian community think that a bisexual woman can't be faithful? How do I go about meeting a woman without hitting the club scene? Should I just say that I am a lesbian to avoid the drama? Please help...Thanks
XOXO Honey Bii
I am a woman that is attracted to women, but I don't know how to meet them. I identify as bi-sexual because I still do find men attractive. I've tried being on downelink but because I identify as bi-sexual the lesbian community seems to look down on that. I am the type person that only dates one person at a time regardless. (I've never actually been with a woman intimately). Not only that, I don't sleep around period. It has been almost a year since I've been intimate and that is because I'm not in a relationship nor have I gotten close enough with anyone that I would consider it serious enough to sleep with. Why does the lesbian community think that a bisexual woman can't be faithful? How do I go about meeting a woman without hitting the club scene? Should I just say that I am a lesbian to avoid the drama? Please help...Thanks
XOXO Honey Bii
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Spirit Day 2011
Join @FindingNaj and I tonight @9pm EST for our 1st live broadcast. http://www.ustream.tv/user/GayLifeDecoded
XOXO Honey Bii
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XOXO Honey Bii
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