Thursday, March 31, 2011

Dear Honey Bii, Day 5

To Do List

1. Relax

2. Read

3. Set up a date

#1 Asking me to relax after Day 4's sucker punch revelation, is likened to requesting that I stop breathing. Read: virtually impossible. Day 4’s revelation is coming up against some serious resistance as I DON’T WANT TO HURT. Denial was comfortable. I’m not comfortable anymore. I feel agitated and disgusting. Agitated in my heart and disgusted with my delayed response to reality. So relax … umm I don’t exactly know what that means. My best relaxants are journaling, reading, and bathing. I took a bath, read the first chapter of my book “I Love You and I’m Leaving You Anyway” by Tracy McMillian, and wrote a few lines of really bad poetry.

#2 I’ve started reading my book which I guess has helped me to relax. Ms. McMillian laugh out loud writing style is just wonderful. In the first chapter she compares her father’s latest phone call from prison to an experience she has with a bi-polar ex-husband requesting a second chance. It was a captivating and soul stirring first chapter. This chapter has helps me to realize that my problems are relative to this particular time period in life and over time my issue will not appear as gargantuan in size.

#3 I’ll call my Blues Brotha to see if he’d be interested in the most spectacular evening of his life!

I appreciate your advice Honey Bii… keep it coming I feel myself getting bold, beautiful, and boned in the near future!!!



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