Thursday, April 7, 2011

Education 101: Stereotypes

Who Opens the Door?:  5 Stereotypes to Dispel About Lesbians

Here are 5 common stereotypes that Lesbian women have to combat. The level with which these issues arise occur all too often. To qualify, this is not a sweeping generalization about heterosexual individuals. Nevertheless, these misconceptions are prevalent in our society today.

1: A Lesbian is a woman scorned.

                Let us start off with golden rule number one. If you want to have a rapport with a confident Lesbian, dispel the idea that a man has caused her to feel this way. If you ask most Lesbians they will admit that they have had some sort of relationship with a man before coming into their sexuality. Often, these relationships have been healthy and affectionate. The idea that a man has somehow broken her heart is ridiculous. A man can never make you attracted to another woman. Either it’s in you or it’s not. Most of the relationships with men are simple validations that being with a man is not their desire.

2: There has to be one dominant and one submissive partner in the relationship.

                Common terminology used in the Lesbian community is “Femme and Stud.” When using the terms you are referring to a feminine woman and the more masculine counterpart. A lot of Lesbian relationships do have these types of connections. However, not all have to in order to work. There are many femme Lesbians that date other femmes and visa versus. There does not have to be one submissive and one dominant partner. The roles can be equal. In my opinion when there has to be roles defined as such they are mimicking heterosexual norms.

3: Lesbians are highly promiscuous.

                Media has played a major role in the modern depiction of Lesbian relationships. For example, there are countless pornographic cable channels that provide girl on girl movies. It is easier to be an open Lesbian than a homosexual man in our society. This creates an overly sensationalized view of Lesbians. For the most part these views cater to a male dominated audience. Most Lesbians are not like this. Most Lesbians are in committed monogamous relationships. Most Lesbians are happy with being discreet, conventional, and living tasteful lives.

4: Studs don’t wear make-up.

                Many dominant women actually wear make-up. Just because their look is a little bit more masculine does not take away the fact that she is still a woman at the end of the day. Women enjoy make-up.  A woman’s face is one of the most beautiful things that exist. Why not enhance it?

5: Studs want to turn straight women “out”.

                This stereotype is mostly carried out by heterosexual women. There is often uneasiness or some level of discomfort that straight women have when around dominant Lesbians. Just like every man is not attracted to every woman that he sees, neither is every Lesbian that she sees. Being a Lesbian does not mean that you want to attract every woman in the room. Lastly, they don’t want to turn every woman they see into a Lesbian. There are plenty of homosexual women to date. 

XOXO Honey Bii 


  1. I like this post, everything you talked about is a right on point....I think you should add more stereotypes....

  2. THANK YOU KELZ. I'll make sure to do a follow up.

  3. Hola!

    Thanks for sharing this. I completely feel where you're coming from and you've shed some light on some really damaging mis-information that exists. I respect the stereotypes you're attempting to dispel, but you used a few stereotypes to validate your viewpoint. I wanted to point them out to show you how we (as LGBTQQIAAP) people create our own damning stereotypes while trying to inform the greater community:

    "It is easier to be an open Lesbian than a homosexual man in our society," is a glaring mis-statement that both gay men and women use to play "oppression olympics" about their struggle. The difficulty of identifying and expressing one's sexuality lies in a myriad of factors
    (religion, education, family relationships, etc) and is not easier for one group over another.

    Though I have never heard the stereotype that studs don't wear make-up (presumably because I assume that the majority of women who classify themselves as studs don't), I think a mark was missed on this. It seems as if you tried to materially femininize studs rather than reinforcing that women, regardless of their aesthetic, are still women. Moreover, I honestly believe the statement, "Many dominant women actually wear make-up," is untrue
    (unless you count chapstick/carmex as make-up). I simply haven't seen it enough to assert that "many" do it to any frequency worth noting.