Monday, April 25, 2011

Inbox Questions from Bii-Lievers: I'm Almost 30

Dear Honey Bii, 

was fine not being in a relationship. Cut to 2011 and finding myself pushing real hard up on 30. I'm content. But there is this quiet sense of urgency now that wasn't there when I was 25. Along with that urgency suddenly came a desire, no, more like craving, to be in a real live, grown-up, we-ain't-got-to-make-babies-but-we-still-can-make-plans relationship. So here I am, doing things like moving my bed away from the wall and putting stands at both sides so I'm sending out an energy that indicates I am looking for a relationship (it's a feng shui thing I think). And I'm also being more social so that I'm meeting more people and more people are meeting me. [Any advice you can give about getting a date would be appreciated too] But it all still feels so new to me. Along comes, I'll call him Jason. Jason is a 25 year old, super-fine and fun-loving Cuban dude I met at a friend's anniversary party recently. We hung out at the party and just had a good time. After some 'dranks' we started feeling ourselves which led to feeling each other. We didn't have sex but we did wake up next to each other. We made plans to make plans and have met up a few times since to finish what we started. We've been very clear that we are not looking for anything serious from each other and have been successful in respecting that. I enjoy the fun of it but now I'm beginning to wonder if I should be worried that engaging in this type of behavior is bad for the "relationship energy" I'm trying to give off. Much like the song with a similar title, I think that guys just wanna have fun too. But is having fun with him keeping me from having a relationship with someone else? Although I am very confident that I would not hesitate to stop messing around with this dude if a potential relationship came along should I be worried this is minimizing that opportunity? I'm trying to tap into my instinct about this situation but that seems to be telling me conflicting advice; I mean, with a dude this fine, it's difficult to tell which is speaking, the heart or the hard-on. Help.

XOXO Honey Bii 

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