Friday, April 1, 2011

I Love Her But I Married Him

Here is a raw video on advice that I gave a friend that needed some advice because she is caught up in a messy threesome.

XOXO Honey Bii


  1. Yes, Bri. Unfortunately, we all can say that it won't happen to us...The truth is we have to be careful of the situations that we involve ourselves in.

  2. I like that you address the issue from all sides His, Hers, and the Other Girl.

    It is important that we consider ppls motives and or own motives. Are you bored? Is she trying to conquer you? Is this about coming into your sexuality or growing bored with your marriage?

    Great Great advice on how would you feel if your Husband came home and said he was with a man?

    What would you do? We all have the seed to hurt others. I think the difference is in the action we each take.

  3. I loved the way that you addressed this issue, and that you did it in such a real way. Too many people take marriage way too lightly, and I feel for the people who've married them. I think exploring sexuality is something you do BEFORE marriage, not after. I ran into a lot of married women who were trying to explore bisexuality, during by bi-curious phase. It urked me then and still does. Love isn't a game.

  4. Thank you NfiniTINAked for viewing the post. I see that you understood my message! Marriage is indeed taken too lightly. You stated it correct, "Love isn't a game"!

  5. Whewwww, I can't tell you how much this video blog of yours hit home! o--m---g!
    Wonderful posting! Thank you Honey!

  6. Wow!!! this is all too common among men especially black men because, as a man aren't allowed explore or entertain your sexuality even if the feelings are there. That's why you have so so many DL men in the African American community. I see women do the same thing but it's not frown as much upon when a man does it because most women won't date a man with the same sexuality as them. I wish that girl didn't drag her husband into because it unfair to him.

  7. I agree with you Essa. If people were more open with their sexuality, I don't think there would be as many down low men.

  8. Last November I came out. I have been married for 25 years. I came back from a visit to Charleston, SC. S had always suspected for most of our married life that I was either gay or bisexual. She decided to ask me when I was jet lagged and exhausted. She fetched me from the railway station and asked me the question. I said yes and felt this great weight lift off my shoulders. Between then and early February when I went out to Malaysia to see my boyfriend. I came back to the UK. When I left in February, I left a distraught wife behind. She wept for 3 weeks solid, because she felt she had lost the love of her life, then she began to hate me, then she realized the marriage was at an end, because I was gay. When I got back, we started talking more than we had done for years. There were no secrets between us any more. We have now agreed on our divorce - without the "assistance" of lawyers. Also the terms. We are better friends now than we have been before. However, she is still going through the grieving process. I wish there was some way I could turn the clock back but I can't. My family think I've treated very very badly. But as she says, she is the one who is most effected, and she does not hate me. In fact she says that now I've admitted I'm gay, everything that has happened makes total sense now. S is a truly remarkable woman. She has said that when it comes to my civil partnership ceremony (in the UK), she will be there for me - she will even give me away to my partner. I have fallen in love with a young Asian guy. As is said, the course of true love never runs smoothly. Well, in this case that is correct. We'll be meeting again in November. My ex and I have separated but I stay with her from time to time. As I said, we are on better terms now than we have been for a long time. But she is still grieving. She loves the house she is in, and the village and her work. So when the time comes (and there is no hurry!), she will buy me out.
    Thank you again for your blog and videos. If you would like to correspond, my email address is
    All the best,
    Bill Drayton.